I went golfing yesterday... yep, and boy do I suck... I also saw part of Vanilla Sky...

I think ever since my surgery I've noticed when I get cold, I start to shiver uncontrollably... like, mainly my torso area... it's strange... I always tell people I'm not cold... you know, to prove my manliness...

probably around year of when I was 13 or something, I don't even remember... I went to my step-brother's cousin's house for new years or something... and I met this girl, 3 years older than me... I instantly had a crush... the only thing I remember about her was that she was very pretty and nice to me... well we all went to watch a movie at the drive in, so this girl and I were sitting in the back of the truck... I was so cold... but I told her I wasn't... and gave her my blanket... I was probably very obvious to see how much I liked her so she probably just played along... we were together the whole night... I don't remember that night much... probably because I'd like to forget her... I think I told her I liked her after that and she told me she didn't like me... but maybe I'm just trying to seek closure....

I don't think I could ever fall for a girl like that... I'm too much of pessimist and a cynic... no matter how much I like a girl, I never let myself like her as much as I'd like...

yesterday I was so bored, I put songs for people on my favorite diaries list... it might just be even one line in the song and I'd relate it to that person... let's see, for innerlunatic I put 500 channels because it's his song... he does drugs and watches tv... for jevon I put play that funky music... mostly because he's a white boy and he plays music... I wanted to put songs like "Ugly" by violent femmes for someone... just because I liked the song... but I didn't want to offend anyone... some people I don't know too well but I know what bands they like, and I only put bands I like... so if they over lap I'll put their band and a song I like from them.... for starpants I put Jen doesn't like me anymore, because her name is jen, and she doesn't like me anymore... it's so perfect... for rikoomajo, I was tempted to give that song to norman... basically for the one line "fuck fans of blink 182, that's illegal if you're born in '83" you can use that for either or... and a couple others... I just didn't want to put the same song...

I'm bored.... again